Now, you're telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?

Why yes, That IS a quote from Joe Dirt. And Yes that IS an epic painting of Joe dirt. I believe it would look right at home in a flea market frame hanging in a double wide on a wall made of plastic fake wood paneling over a couch covered in cigarette burns and cat hair. Hell, take away the cigarette burns and that's my Mamaw's old place. Her and her cat, Kitty lived in a picturesque mobile home, mountain top in Appalachia. I come from classy stock. But at least my kin are just country as hell. Nemo's fam jam is all white trashy like. Now don't get me wrong. I am NOT hating on him or his lovely family. I am simply stating a fact. A fact that Nemo is driving home with each text. See, Nemo has his WT family in town for a visit. What is fantastic is he is sending out "White Trash Updates" Via Text. For the rest of the post Nemo's texts will be in green. My interjections? Why purple of course.

Text #1- You want whitetrash updates? Well Here is number one. Waffle House is the choice for breakfast because grandma looooves their hashbrowns and gravy. (I was under the impression, up until now, that the ONLY time you go to waffle house is post shinnanigans or to see some weird shit. The food is incidental. Hell, we're usually drunk and would eat anything as long as it was greasy and drunk-foodesque. I'm looking at you Krystal and Taco Bell for this one too. I had no idea people actually LIKED the food! BTW- I noticed one day that their menu says everything is served on REAL china.)

Fine China for your $2 Waffle and Cigarette Ash "coffee"

Text STOP to no longer receive updates from white trash reunion 2010
(Why would anyone text stop? Also probs most clever thing Nemo has ever said)
Update #2 At Wal-mart exchanging [Grandma's] jean shorts (JORTS!!!!!) because they were too small.
#3 My great aunt Jeanie wants to get a tramp stamp. Like Legit, I just won't take her to the Tattoo Parlor. She was like... I'm retired. It doesn't matter if I do something crazy. I want one like those young girls have on their lower back.. I think they're cute. She's like 70.

Artists rendering of "Aunt Jeanie" post Tattoo parlor excursion.

I have been pestering Nemo for more updates which will be on the blog Tu-rust. All I have gotten thus far is this:
Well, I was away for a little bit and now we're just watching ESPN....
Sadly I checked ESPN. It's not Nascar right now, just sports center.
Le Sigh
Gonna go ahead and post, BUT there will be updates ...hopefully
-Bitey

UPDATE!
#4- My sister "We're going to WalMart?!? I need to look good!"