You're Love Your Love Is My Drug

And I bet for 1/2 a second you thought I meant I had some romanticals news
No No No, I don't DO Romantical. Just Not very Bitey.

Pictured- my heart and lack of soul

However, Nemo and I have a new song. Oh Nemo, my biffles for life. He and I have gotten into quite a few shinnanigans over the years. Including but not limited to, being thrown out of SEVERAL bars (including a gay male strip club) countless adventures to nowhere, ganking shit off the road and from friends while intoxicated, a faux engagement misadventure, (from which i retain the title of "Not Wife") so on and so forth.

Previously our "song" was Akon- Nobody want to see us together. Yup that gem. And TRUST when we saw Akon this year we had a girl and her gay hug/screamfest moment when he played that song. Talking JUST short of tears.
This song followed us everywhere we went. Get in the car? AKON Go to a bar? AKON! movies? AKON! Party? AKON!
It was as if some higher power was saying "You two are a match made in Hell, NOBODY wants ya'll to be biffles. K. Thanx BYE! -The Cosmos"

Messenger of the God's since 2006

Now the song that follows us like Herpes is KeSha "You're Love Is My Drug"

Which really is just the nail in the coffin that Nemo + Bitey= Awkward Co-Dependence for Life

If i can have a picture of Ke$ha and the American Flag on my blog i will do it. Everytime.

So I'm not sure how the universe decided that 1) Nemo and I were perfect for one another in theat super F'ed way that we are (I would assume it threw up it's hands in defeat and gave up) 2) Why it has to be this song that lets us know. I mean aren't there 800,000 other Biffles songs? I am fully aware at the level of bizzare Nemo and I's relationship is. We have entire conversations with one look, hell we share a brain at this point. Not a joke guys. It's not uncommon (read: daily) that we will think and say the exact same thing at the exact moment. And it's not normal shit. It's crap from left field like "Make everyone twins" and "Electric Toilet"
The basis for our bond is I'm a hateful bitch, he is becoming a catty gay together we make the world weep.
Though at times he is still shocked at the level of evil that will spew forth from my mouth. I have no idea why. On the other hand I am always shocked when he gets a reference I make to anything musical. As in so shocked he gets a "point" each time he gets it, or makes one of his own. We have been Biffles for 4 years. He has 7 points, as of last night. Sooooo there's that.

Let's see what else has been going on.....
I met The Swell Season. I swooned.
Doesn't really pertain to anything, just wanted to gloat a bit.

Actually Legit, I am in love with this music. And I have NO IDEA WHY! I normally love weird, bizarre music. Such as Zombina and The Skeletones or Gogol Bordello. The Swell Season is singer/songwriter folksy music. And it makes me fall in love with it EVERY DAMN TIME.
Not going to lie, I teared up at the show. Me. With the black hole for a soul. It's not fair.

A lot of it is totals "Songs to Slit Your Wrists To" too. I'm not the most emotionally stable human being. I'm just saying Me + bottle of ANYTHING + Swell Season would = a very dark and scary journey into that black hole inside. I'm not sure if I would come back the same person, or if i'd go all Sam Neil in Event Horizon and come back all murder-y

With the right accessories I think it could be a good look for me.

Le Sigh.
Truth is my heart is in there somewhere. Crying like an emokid on....well fuck, a tuesday. Waiting to be pulled from the black hole. Because lets face it, it's dark and scary in there.

Ugh I'm just not funny today
Toodles
-Bitey

Air Drumming Is the College-Age Equivelant to Eating Paste

That's right -I went there. I don't know what it is about "out Christians" but apparently the rules of decorum simply do not apply to them. I was sitting in the student center taking an inordinately long study break (I put the book down at 11, it's 1:15), checking facebook and the like when these kids sit down on the couch next to me. They start yammering on and on and on and on about their church's college ministry and how great and spiritual and bladdy blah everything there is. Having grown up in the church, I know this is to be expected. HOWEVER, when the music started playing is when I went from mildly aggravated to the strangest combination of appaled/enthralled I've felt in a while. Kind of like when you see a car crash on the side of the road: it's gory, there are po-pos, etc. yet no matter how close you come to causing another accident right across the street, you just can't look away -that sort of phenomenon .

This kid, in full view of a crowded campus center, straight up pulled air drum sticks out of his pockets, ninja-style and started his own one man mosh pit. And folks, this wasn't your average elbows bent at roughly ninety degrees while gently tapping one of those little pads drummers always seem to carry around in your lap air drums that most of us are used to. No, we're talkin' head being swung violently like male big-horned sheep during mating season with arms flailing like an epileptic Bruce Lee on speed jam session. America, when have we ever been okay with this kind of behavior? (Excluding, of course, frat parties with copious amounts of Natty Lite and the within the confines of a low rent Fast and Furious douchemobile a la:

Not to mention the fact that Jesus Christ Superstar decided to follow up this display of undeniably brotastic douchebaggery with the song "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha. I'm not sayin I don't love me some openly slutty Miley Cyrus knockoff because, frankly, I work out to that blonde hussy's danceworthy tunes. BUT I am not okay with ho-hum conversation about WWJD bracelets and pizza socials being followed by what could quite possibly be the most intense air drum solo the Westenrn hemisphere has ever witnessed, only to be topped off by a rousing chorus of "gonna blow my speakers up tonight, imma fight, 'till we see the sunlight (rise over the tomb of our lord? I mean, I guess it is almost Easter...)

And all this from members of a social group that prides itself on maintaining the status quo and a sense of normalcy in the crazy world of black presidents and tommy has two mommies? Focus on the Family can have the Bible Belt, but I'll be damned if they take away my Ke$ha!

In related news, I got a double dose of instant karma for this post. First I sneezed ALL OVER myself (like old school You Can't Say That On Television SLIMED my arm) while typing this very post in front of them only to spill water from my Earth-friendly aluminum water bottle down my front within five minutes of the sliming. I swear that stupid water bottle is out to make me look like a 'tard . . .

Hugs 'n shit,
Chompers