Air Drumming Is the College-Age Equivelant to Eating Paste

That's right -I went there. I don't know what it is about "out Christians" but apparently the rules of decorum simply do not apply to them. I was sitting in the student center taking an inordinately long study break (I put the book down at 11, it's 1:15), checking facebook and the like when these kids sit down on the couch next to me. They start yammering on and on and on and on about their church's college ministry and how great and spiritual and bladdy blah everything there is. Having grown up in the church, I know this is to be expected. HOWEVER, when the music started playing is when I went from mildly aggravated to the strangest combination of appaled/enthralled I've felt in a while. Kind of like when you see a car crash on the side of the road: it's gory, there are po-pos, etc. yet no matter how close you come to causing another accident right across the street, you just can't look away -that sort of phenomenon .

This kid, in full view of a crowded campus center, straight up pulled air drum sticks out of his pockets, ninja-style and started his own one man mosh pit. And folks, this wasn't your average elbows bent at roughly ninety degrees while gently tapping one of those little pads drummers always seem to carry around in your lap air drums that most of us are used to. No, we're talkin' head being swung violently like male big-horned sheep during mating season with arms flailing like an epileptic Bruce Lee on speed jam session. America, when have we ever been okay with this kind of behavior? (Excluding, of course, frat parties with copious amounts of Natty Lite and the within the confines of a low rent Fast and Furious douchemobile a la:

Not to mention the fact that Jesus Christ Superstar decided to follow up this display of undeniably brotastic douchebaggery with the song "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha. I'm not sayin I don't love me some openly slutty Miley Cyrus knockoff because, frankly, I work out to that blonde hussy's danceworthy tunes. BUT I am not okay with ho-hum conversation about WWJD bracelets and pizza socials being followed by what could quite possibly be the most intense air drum solo the Westenrn hemisphere has ever witnessed, only to be topped off by a rousing chorus of "gonna blow my speakers up tonight, imma fight, 'till we see the sunlight (rise over the tomb of our lord? I mean, I guess it is almost Easter...)

And all this from members of a social group that prides itself on maintaining the status quo and a sense of normalcy in the crazy world of black presidents and tommy has two mommies? Focus on the Family can have the Bible Belt, but I'll be damned if they take away my Ke$ha!

In related news, I got a double dose of instant karma for this post. First I sneezed ALL OVER myself (like old school You Can't Say That On Television SLIMED my arm) while typing this very post in front of them only to spill water from my Earth-friendly aluminum water bottle down my front within five minutes of the sliming. I swear that stupid water bottle is out to make me look like a 'tard . . .

Hugs 'n shit,
Chompers