Friday's Sick Obsession

I believe today is as good a day as any to start a new weekly event. Welcome to Friday’s Sick Obsession. See, I have thousands of these weird little obsessions that ebb and flow over time. Everyone around me has mixed feelings about each new obsession because, while it DOES replace the old one it also means something new has latched onto my psyche and will spill out like oil from the Exxon Valdez.

Example: I went through about a six month love affair with a concept album by Forgive Durden called Razia’s Shadow. I know every word, every nuance of each character, each emotion connected to each instrument and by god was I going to tell you all about it. Like it or not I’m going to explain it because somewhere inside I know, I just KNOW you care. Even though you think you don't, I know you do.

These obsessions tend to manifest themselves in the strangest ways possible and can come from anywhere.

My newest obsessions are (Drumroll please)…………...............................................................................

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Gogol Bordello

What is Gogol Bordello? Romanian Gypsy Punk! How the F do you NOT love the batshit that IS Gypsy Punk!?!? It's got all the charm of accordions and violins and whatever the hell being played under the moonlight while an old woman reads your palm and warns you of "vervolves!" while old men in striped shirts teach monkeys to dance and drink around a roaring fire AND all the rash insensitive insensibility of good old fashion punk rock. I swooned as soon as i heard their name.

How about their most downloaded song on iTunes is "Start wearing purple". The song just declares about 150 times that you should "Start wearing purple! Wearing purple!"
I did a little research (aka Wikipedia failed me so off to google it was) and found the song is just as batshit as i could ever hope. It's about just saying F this, i'm going to be crazy when I'm old and wear purple from head to toe, welp may as well start now!

I love that I make this discovery about this song while I'm wearing purple.....from head to toe. So Legit, I bring the crazy, even Gogol knows. Shit, even my blogger color is purple! Which on that note...

Dear Gogol Bordello,
Hiyo Bitey here. Big Fan. If you need someone else to add to the band CALL ME! I already started wearing purple, and I can bring the cray cray by the truckloads. I currently Think Globally and F*ck Locally, but I can change, I swear! I can sing, be avant gaurde if you want. I know you feel it too, the kindred spirit of cray cray art and bizzare. Not to mention I love your lead singers 'stache. It treads that fine line between carny creeper and interesting hipster in the most fantastic way possible.

How can you not??

SO, if you wanna give me a chance to bring something to the gypsy creative table let me know. They call me Bitey, but for you guys, I'll be Bitesky. K? ThanksBye!!!

Ok, now that they are gone can I just say WOW. I have this thing for dirty smelly rocker-types, and nothing says "dirty smelly rocker type" quite like mashing the words "gypsy" and "punk" together. My ideal man is builtish, broke nosed, scruffy, tattooed.....mmmm. Everything Mama warned you about. BUT that's for another day I suppose.

Moving on to my other newest obsession........................(Drumroll please).......................................

The Eating Out film series. That’s right FILM! CINEMA! This isn’t a bunch of movies, this is fine art.Co-Blogger Chompers and I found these incredible pieces of modern cinema on one of our "Gay Days". We popped in Eating Out 3: All You Can Eat, grabbed some homemade rainbow cake and 2 cases of Miller High Life. Because if you're going to drink beer it better be the goddamn champagne of beer. So the film starts with Tiffini Van Der Sloot having sex with a priest in a coffin.

Rebekah Kochan deserves an Oscar for her portrayal of Tiffani the "Slut with a heart of shit". That's all I'm saying you need to WATCH THESE FILMS to understand.

It took us 4 hours to watch this 80 minute movie. Why? Because every 5 minutes we would pause, write down lines from the movie (which all escape me now except "I just threw up in my pussy" Chomp add in some quotes!) discuss, and grab a few more beers.
We discussed everything, from the SURPRISE appearance of Beverly Lessly to the full frontal male nudity which we judged, scored and decided what we would do with said gentleman.
It was a truly bonding experience.
I can't help that I am a gay man trapped in a ladies body! That's why Tiffani understands me, and I love my Homos.




From your very own slut with the heart of shit -Bitey